But it has to be the right amount of stress towards a meaningful purpose.
According to the research published in Journal of Happiness Studies, people who work hard at improving a skill or an ability do tend to experience stress but also greater happiness in the long run.
Working on new goals can be tough, creating new habits requires lots of effort, learning something new is hard and dealing with people with different mindset and volatile emotions can be stressful.
That’s why many organisations came forward and created a space for employees to talk about and learn ways to deal with stress during April, being the awareness month.
Stress has many beautiful attributes. We stress about things we care for, like our career, raising children and relationships at work and home.
So what tools and techniques help you deal with stress?
1. Meditation / Mindfulness
2. Nature walk
3. Journaling
4. One step at a time approach
5. Reading good books
6. Watching videos
7. Listening to music
8. Sleeping
9. Meeting friends
10. Yoga / Gym
Let’s remember “Happiness” is a choice and so is “Stress”!!
It’s heartening to see how organisations are taking an initiative to introduce “happiness at work.”
According to the UN, the universal aspiration in the life of an individual should be happiness.
This year India saw a marginal improvement in it’s happiness ranking, jumping up three spots to 136 from 139 as per the World Happiness report 2022.
The lesson of the world happiness report over the years is that social support, generosity to one another and honesty in government are crucial for wellbeing says report co author Jeffery Sachs.
“Build better together” theme of the year 2022 emphasises the fact that we need to encourage skills like resilience and adaptability to create happy workplaces.
Here’s three ways organisations and leaders can enhance happiness at work:
1. Rethink strategies for overall development of yourself and your organisation. From “should” do to a “could” do approach. It helps teams to innovate new ways of overcoming challenges.
2. Review policies and limitations. Find the gaps and create “Learn it all” culture instead of “know it all”; so that there is openness to ask for help and support.
3. Good relationships at work helps improve productivity. Find ways to reconnect. Create awareness sessions, talks, coaching for leaders and promote well-being. Hybrid work has emphasised the need to understand digital body language and communicate effectively.
We are witnessing a crisis situation in the world. The Russia – Ukraine war is costing human suffering and economic losses. So let’s pledge today on this international day of happiness to create an awareness towards building a compassionate world.
Each one of us adds to the peace and happiness of this planet as we learn ways to manage our stress, keep calm and show kindness.
Tag someone in the comments who has been your guide to happiness this year. It could be your organisation, leader, coach or friend. This small act of appreciation or gratitude can boost your positivity.
If you are reading or listening to this, you are alive, breathing, have a smartphone and a roof over head. There is always something or someone that we are grateful for and today is a day to acknowledge that. It’s world gratitude day, a day to pause and reflect on our blessings and gifts.
This day was reportedly first observed in 1965, during a Thanksgiving gathering at the International East-West Center in Hawaii. Sri Chinmoy, a spiritual leader and meditation teacher, had suggested that a day can be observed when the entire world comes together for the message of thanks.
Last year and half has been tough and the pandemic is still prevailing threat around us. Corporates and stay at home parents are feeling burned out by the double duties of working remotely and managing children’s education and household work.
Yet progress from this unprecedented situation is definitely remarkable, the kids have adjusted to the virtual routine and attitudes for work from home have changed. Employees are less tolerant of unhappy work situations, and many are seeking help and support.
Over the last one year we have witnessed many organisations coming forward to inculcate a culture of gratitude at work. Grateful employees form stronger relationships, perform better, and tend to have greater job satisfaction.
Saying “thank you” helps overcome “Poor me” mindset and though it seems simple yet science has proved that these words are powerful and the impact is profound, both for the giver and the receiver of thanks.
Gratitude lifts up our mood, rejuvenates our spirit, and gives us a renewed energy to meet the unprecedented challenges the world is facing today.
Gratitude opens our eyes to the limitless potential this universe offers whereas dissatisfaction closes our eyes.
I hope this year each one of us will take sometime to appreciate the blessings we have and express gratitude to thousands of people who have worked hard, some without knowing us at all but to make our life easier.
You may choose to keep a journal going forward and note down any 5 good things that you feel particularly grateful for. With regular practice one can notice that expressing and feeling grateful becomes easier and makes you feel happier!!
Share one good moment that you experienced in this year or acknowledge someone in the comments and spread a wave of joy and positivity.
It is natural to have conflicts in relationships, especially with loved ones. It is unrealistic to expect having a harmonious relationship with the people whom you spend most of your time with. My mom used a metaphor while explaining relationships. She said “family members are like utensils, when two pots & pans are kept together; there is bound to be some noise”.
People living together always have different opinions, outlook and perspectives. What matters is the way we repair those relationships or learn to live with the noise knowing that it’s for a better purpose. The repair could be in various forms as we have diversity within a family. Elders, kids, partner, extended family all have different expectations and demands.
I am blessed with some beautiful relationships in my life, but occasionally I tend to take the ones I love the most for granted. When I delivered my second child the most pressing concern was how will I support my elder daughter feel special, loved and not neglected. With a younger one in the house, most of the waking time is taken by caring for their demands and other relationships do get affected. The sleep deprivation also causes irritation and limited physical strength. We reached out to our child’s paediatrician, an amazing doctor and a very experienced father as well, he suggested us to carve out 30 min to 1 hr a day and label it as “Mom and baby” time or “Dad and baby” time. It was a very simple advice but it made a huge difference in our life. Everyday she would look forward to that time, finish her homework/ food etc and be ready to make that time special. She was the leader for that time, she could decide whether today’s activity is a walk to the park day or playing with barbie dolls.
We continued doing that every single day for the first year and we started enjoying that connection with her. It’s been almost 7 years and we still do that, not very regular now especially with the work and school responsibilities. Now special time comes once in a week but there are few other things that has helped us bond and connect over the last few years of growing together.
XOXO:
A warm embrace, sometimes tickle, a squeeze of the hand, or a pat on the back all are gestures that speak love and support. Our mornings starts with hugs and gratitude and before bed there is either a reading time or calm down time for 10 minutes. It takes a few minutes every day but helps us look at the day with a better outlook and feel connected to each other.
Me time:
We often spend all our time looking after others in the family and forget about ourselves. If we don’t look after our self, we end up feeling miserable and resentful. We can’t give our children the support they need, if we ourselves are not emotionally balanced and physically healthy. Acknowledging our feelings, needs and carving out time is crucial for our well-being. It’s not selfish to treat ourselves once in awhile! Put aside some time to do just what YOU want to do, even if it’s only 10 minutes a day.
Us time:
If you are a couple with two or more kids most of your time must be spent in balancing emotions and tantrums. Managing sibling rivalry and sometimes jealousy can be time consuming. As couple we get so occupied that we miss on all the special moments together. Children learn about relationships by seeing the people around them. Create special time every week where you listen to each other, laugh together, watch a movie, go for a walk or dance. You will strengthen your relationship while being a positive influence for the children.
We can’t control the tone of relationships we have with our family members but we definitely can create greater harmony in our relationships. Be open, honest, and empathetic, but don’t be afraid to set boundaries with toxic or abusive family members. Sometimes family is beyond the people you live with and extends to friends who support and love you unconditionally.
So nurture your garden of life with different flowers, some need more water, some more sunshine and some needs pruning to make the garden thrive.
Henna Sharma, Happiness Coach
What one word would describe your family?
When you look back what do you remember, the unconditional love or challenges faced?
What changes have you experienced in your family during pandemic?
This week celebrating International day of families (UN), International Coaching week(ICF) and mental health awareness( WHO).
We met by coincidence, we talked by chance, we became friends by choice and we promise to remain friends through commitment.
It was the fall of 2006 when we were relocating from Japan back to India. We decided to take a break in Singapore for 3 days before we get busy with unpacking and settling down in a new city in India. The first day was reaching Singapore and doing a bit of shopping on Orchard road. The next two days were filled with sightseeing and other tourist activities. We started after breakfast to Sentosa Island. It was a hot day, after all the fun activities and clicking a lot of pictures with the iconic Merlion we were at the exit gift shop. It was nice and cool there after the day spent in the heat. I was looking through a row of magnets and souvenirs when I heard a voice. The familiarity of the language and lingo attracted me to notice the couple. They were an Indian young couple too and just like us were looking at souvenirs. I could guess that they were also a Punjabi/Delhi family visiting Singapore. They also noticed me and we exchanged smiles.
As her husband turned to make the payment I noticed his backpack which had the name of company where my husband was working for at that time. I pulled my husband to talk to them. Those of you who have stayed outside your home country will understand the feeling of noticing your own people and making an effort to strike a conversation. That conversation lasted for more than an hour in the gift shop, as they both worked for the same company and coming from similar background too. Me and his wife had an instant connection. We parted ways to meet for the dinner on the same night. During dinner time as well we had so many things to talk about and they offered us their guidance on settling in a new city.
Fast forward it’s been more than 15 years and we are still best of friends, our kids and families know the kind of bond we share.
This friendship always reminds me that:
1. A chance encounter with a stranger can become a life long association.
2. Your energies reach before your words.
3. Have the courage to reach out and build connections.
4. Some friends may be miles apart and not messaging each other even on birthdays but they are there when you need them the most.
5. We must have met each other only 10 to 12 times in all these years but the meetings are always full of joy and laughter.
Our running into each other was merely a chance, our building relationships with each other was an effort and our confidence that we are there for each other is a blessing.
These days I wake up to a peaceful morning, birds chirping in the balcony, no morning rush hour traffic, which gives me a bit more time for my morning rituals which includes a nice cup of tea with my book.
But this peace soon gets shattered and the morning madness starts when kids wake up and everyone occupies their designated space in the house with their gadgets. A cacophony of voices starts rising from the kitchen, online school classes and Zoom based office meetings. From national anthem to gummy bear song and meditation to placating demanding customers.
The kitchen is the “new water cooler” where we all meet in between our sessions to grab coffee and snacks etc. Other times the conversations between family members happen only on WhatsApp chats or gestures. We have mastered the art of using sign language to ask, do you want tea, going for a walk, no tv till you finish homework and going to sleep in other room :).
As a mother I feel, there are more responsibilities than just household work. We tend to be more emotionally available for our children even if it means just a cuddle. Most women usually invest additional 3 to 4 hours a day on household responsibilities and child care – adding up to essentially another part time job. No wonder they are among the most likely group to be considering stepping back, so much so the pandemic induced economic downturn is being called she-cession rather than recession.
As we step into the second year of pandemic, here’re 7 ways to bring more balance and happiness in our life while WFH:
1. Take a nature walk: Studies reveal that spending time in nature has a positive effect on the mind, body, and spirit. Yoshifumi Miyazaki from Chiba University, Japan, discovered that going for a 40-minute walk in a green forest lowers the level of cortisol, the stress hormone, blood pressure and supports the immune system more than a similar 40-minute walk indoors. Use this time to exercise, reflect, recharge and heal. Due to time constraints me and my husband have combined the walk in nature as “us” time where we connect and talk about everything ranging from kids to planning holidays.
2. Power of routine: Routine is a schedule that you create to prioritise and make space for habits that are important. Yes, it takes time and effort and yes, it may not be possible to follow it on certain days but it also brings more discipline in following the schedule which is more winning and productive. Just Start and the add complicated tasks slowly once you are in the discipline of following a routine. For example, waking up at 4 am didn’t happen in day. I started with 6 am and slowly worked my way up to 4am.
3. Clutter free space: Our surroundings have a strong influence on our behaviour, cognition, emotions, decision-making, and even our relationship with others. A study by researchers from Princeton University Neuroscience Institute found that clutter limits your brain’s ability to process information. Look around your space and see what can you remove to create a better space for yourself. Effectively working from home requires optimising your environment to maximise health, happiness and productivity.
4. Setting boundaries: Boundaries can be physical or emotional, and they can range from being loose to rigid. Setting boundaries is an important part of establishing one’s identity and is a crucial aspect of mental health and well-being. Setting healthy boundaries can have many benefits, including helping people make decisions based on what is best for them, not just for the people around them. This autonomy is an important part of self-care.
5. Self care Sundays: Practicing a weekly digital detox and spending time on self will help a lot in enhancing your health and well-being. More and more studies are showing how our screen time negatively impacts everything from our sleep and memory to attention span, creativity, productivity, and even health. Unmindful social media usage can also lead to social comparison, which can result in impaired self-esteem and even depression, just having our phones in sight causes a rise in cortisol – body’s main stress hormone. Carve out time for meaningful purposes, relationships and self care tasks.
6. Make social connections: Meaningful relationships remain at the core of our emotional and psychological well-being as humans. However, the last one year has isolated us in our homes and left us with only virtual connections. More and more people are experiencing anxiety, depression and loneliness due to lack of human connections. Encourage ‘virtual water cooler chats’ during breaks. Login early to just ‘check-in’, ‘build emotional connections’ and have a ‘buddy system’.
7. Ask for support: Sometimes it’s not other’s unwillingness to provide Support, it’s our inability to ask for help. While growing up if I have seen my mother managing home front efficiently, somewhere I started believing that asking for help would mean “weakness” or “lack”. Most of the organisations and leaders are also willing to help but how often do we come over that self – limiting thought and seek help. Remember, people like to reciprocate and as a leader you can create the culture of asking and giving help in your organisation.
Embrace change, give up perfectionism and fine tune where you need to. After all what life throws at you is not your choice but what you make of it is 100% your choice.
20th March is the International Day of Happiness it recognises the relevance of happiness and well-being as a universal goal in the lives of human beings around the world and the importance of their recognition in public policy objectives.
It also recognises the need for a more inclusive, equitable and balanced approach to economic growth that promotes sustainable development, poverty eradication, happiness and the well-being of all. (UN)
As we are all facing an ongoing global crisis together, this year’s International Day of Happiness is a chance to find uplifting and positive ways to look after ourselves – and one another, as individuals or as an organisation.
Based on that values this year’s international happiness day theme is – Keep Calm, Stay wise and Be kind.
Due to the pandemic the world needs to be in alignment with these values. How do we that? How can organisations build a happy cultural? Let’s understand these values at first:
Keep calm: Life has been unprecedented and overwhelming for all of us. Worries and panic only worsens the situations rather than helping. A calm mind brings inner strength and clarity. Imagine a jar full of water and sand, shake it and the sand will mix with water making it cloudy but keep it and let the sand settle to see the clear water. Our mind also gets cluttered and cloudy with thoughts, worries and doubts. Let it settle, practice calming techniques and experience stillness of mind.
Stay wise: Most of the scriptures, Guru’s and parents talk about gaining wisdom as the ultimate goal of life. It leads us towards happiness and enlightenment. I have experienced that some quotes/books or saying often become the guiding principles of life. So choose to spend time wisely, learn new skills, change with time, adopt a growth mindset and ask someone to Mentor.
Be kind: It comes in many forms, like being nice, thoughtful, loving nature, caring for others and then being considerate is the root of pure kindness. Be kind, as everyone is fighting a hard battle. Simply asking someone how they are doing can bring a huge difference in their mood and self esteem. Smile more often, practice patience, let go and let live.
Be kind, but not weak. Be strong, but not rude. Be proud, but not arrogant. Be a reason for spreading happiness all around you.
As an individual learn ways to handle stress, connect with like minded people and communities. As an organisation create awareness sessions, talks and promote well-being. Create happy Workplace and stay safe.
May 6th is celebrated as international coaching day. Instead of talking about coaching, benefits, impacts and case studies of my clients who have transformed themselves beautifully and living a happy life today I am sharing with you the people who have coached me to reach where I am today.
Mom, my very first coach she taught me how to stay strong, build relationships and most of all never give up. She always taught gratitude in her most simple ways which I realised as I read books and books on self development. Even today when I get featured in magazine’s or get awarded she smiles and says I knew you will get this.😍
Always standing tall by my side
Arun Sharma, my life partner and biggest blessing has supported me throughout this journey. By being a coach, guide and a friend he is always pushed me to do my best. He always expects so much from me that I perform beyond the potential I know I hold within.🥰
You can see the light in me
SandhyaMathur is a great coach and mentor who has dedicated herself to empower women in living a successful life. She has been a part of coach education for approximately a decade now and that gives her the knowledge and experience which we young coaches need.
5 years back when I was new in this field I asked her “My fellow coaches are so experienced how will I make my mark?” In her usual way of calm and collected demeanour she said “You carry the burning desire within to help and that’s what will take you places”.
G L Sampoorna, the monk with a smile gave me the calm energy and connect to my “inner self” with her few words of wisdom.
Babbuji is my inspiration to love and live life at every moment. The best manifestation was when I looked at her profile in fb and got inspired and today she’s just a call away to help me, guide me and mentor me whenever I need.
There are so many wonderful people I have met on this journey and will continue to do so as I still have a long way to go and do my bit to create a happy world through coaching.
Happy international coaching day!!!
P.S: Some of the authors that inspire me are Louise Hay, Alan Cohen, Jack Canfield, Om Swami and Satguru.
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