Happiness your #1 priority.

Over the last one and half years of pandemic, our company had an opportunity to work with over 10,000 people from across the globe through group coaching sessions and training programs. 

We witnessed a variety of concerns ranging from lack of face to face interaction, no emotional connect, social challenges, uncertainty and anxiety during these discussions. Majority of people are experiencing symptoms like lack of sleep, irritability, jitteriness with friends and family. Leading to a general feeling of melancholy around us. It has impacted our overall health and productivity and is also leading to burn-out at work and home.

The stress is not just about the pandemic but also about the future of work, education, day to day challenges and slowly it’s seeping into work and family causing distress.

Work from home culture has made professional & personal boundaries: blurry and fluid, we appear at work without makeup, kids walk into the calls or glimpses of all that is happening at home behind our back on the camera. From corporate wear we have transitioned to casuals and from returning home after work we continue to exchange emails and chats post work hours.

Is this the “new normal?” Going by the current scenario, seems like this might continue for some more time till the scientists find the way to close this pandora’s box.

What we need is to build skills and learn ways to live in this “new normal.”

Here are some key things which can help build a happy workplace and home environment:

1. Communicate : Listen with thoughtful attention not just rushing to provide solution but to connect and encourage. Involve yourself – not just with ears, but eyes and heart too. Even on a screen we can build that connection by looking into the eyes, modulating our tone and turning off distractions. Authentic connections will help break the barriers of communication.

Share your vulnerability by expressing what are you doing to manage stress. Give your real life examples at work and at home, for example one of the leader shared with the team how he is struggling to make a conversation with his teenager son, whereas someone shared about keeping the phone out of the bedroom at night or taking therapy sessions. Don’t underestimate the positive impact that your story can create on others. 

What has worked with you when it comes to expressing emotions?

2. Pause : The best way to deal with all the noises in your head, sometimes judging, sometimes criticising and mostly complaining is by learning to pause, meditate or being mindful. The pause gives an opportunity to stop, reflect and then respond instead of overwhelm and immediate reaction. To begin with just become aware of the words you speak, pause and take a breath before you respond in a meeting or during a conversation.

What are the techniques that help you pause?

3. Define Boundaries : Pre-covid we had a structure to our day. WFH has diluted that to the extent that some people log in at work sitting on the bed or right after waking up. Designing our day will help in creating work-life boundaries. Like getting dressed, wearing perfume or waving bye to your colleagues as we end the day. Switching off from work and doing an activity like walking will help the mind to differentiate between online and offline hours. The same applies to students and home makers. We all need time for self care and rejuvenation along with the work we do.

What rituals you have that define work and play boundaries for you?

4. Training and Coaching sessions : It’s more important than ever to talk about uncertainties, stress, work life balance and wellness aspects at work and home. There are trainers, coaches and facilitators available for every budget. Find what works for you and your organisation. Offer trainings, programs, resources to deal with stress, build resilience and work life balance. 

What resources have you used/ or want to use that can help you create a better work life integration?

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Prioritise your health, Prioritise your wellbeing and prioritising your happiness sends a powerful message to those around you. 

You matter, your health and happiness matters.

Simone Biles courageous choice has definitely created an awareness of stepping back to focus on mental health. We are aware that even when things open up, it may not return to normal so let’s make happiness our number one priority in the new normal, use the time at home constructively and use this opportunity to turn adversity into a positive challenge.

Let’s celebrate happiness!!

20th March is the International Day of Happiness it recognises the relevance of happiness and well-being as a universal goal in the lives of human beings around the world and the importance of their recognition in public policy objectives.

It also recognises the need for a more inclusive, equitable and balanced approach to economic growth that promotes sustainable development, poverty eradication, happiness and the well-being of all. (UN)

As we are all facing an ongoing global crisis together, this year’s International Day of Happiness is a chance to find uplifting and positive ways to look after ourselves – and one another, as individuals or as an organisation.

Based on that values this year’s international happiness day theme is – Keep Calm, Stay wise and Be kind.

Due to the pandemic the world needs to be in alignment with these values. How do we that? How can organisations build a happy cultural? Let’s understand these values at first:

Keep calm: Life has been unprecedented and overwhelming for all of us. Worries and panic only worsens the situations rather than helping. A calm mind brings inner strength and clarity. Imagine a jar full of water and sand, shake it and the sand will mix with water making it cloudy but keep it and let the sand settle to see the clear water. Our mind also gets cluttered and cloudy with thoughts, worries and doubts. Let it settle, practice calming techniques and experience stillness of mind.

Stay wise: Most of the scriptures, Guru’s and parents talk about gaining wisdom as the ultimate goal of life. It leads us towards happiness and enlightenment. I have experienced that some quotes/books or saying often become the guiding principles of life. So choose to spend time wisely, learn new skills, change with time, adopt a growth mindset and ask someone to Mentor.

Be kind: It comes in many forms, like being nice, thoughtful, loving nature, caring for others and then being considerate is the root of pure kindness. Be kind, as everyone is fighting a hard battle. Simply asking someone how they are doing can bring a huge difference in their mood and self esteem. Smile more often, practice patience, let go and let live.

Be kind, but not weak. Be strong, but not rude. Be proud, but not arrogant. Be a reason for spreading happiness all around you.

As an individual learn ways to handle stress, connect with like minded people and communities. As an organisation create awareness sessions, talks and promote well-being. Create happy Workplace and stay safe.

Happy international day of happiness 😊

Happy at work?

While dropping my kids to school, I noticed that in a rush to be on time for my meeting I didn’t wait for them to even go inside and quickly drove away.

This awareness made me pause and I started noticing all the other parents doing the same, checking emails, answering calls or rushing to work without noticing that the child is still waving bye and giving flying kisses.

Most of our waking time is spent either thinking about or doing some work leading to stress related ailments. No wonder the hospitals are lined up with patients and work related stress is at all time high. Workplace stress caused by work pressure, lack of time, job insecurity, office politics and several other factors have made headlines in the past.

So here’s some key points that can help raise your happiness levels at work and enhance productivity at the same time:

1. You matter : Research shows that people fare better when they feel their work matters and they get validation from coworkers and their organization. They are more productive, more happier and less likely to change jobs. Since it’s difficult to go around and asking for validation let’s try self-appraisal. 

*What are your strengths?

*What are your weaknesses?

*What has been your past achievements?

*What are you most proud of?

*What makes you different from your peers?

2. Support Others: The level of happiness that we derive when we engage ourselves in helping others is immeasurable. One of my client started helping colleagues from other departments. This gave her a feel good factor and the networking landed her in getting her dream promotion. Some support to colleagues at times of need and simple acts of kindness can increase connection, enhance wisdom and build better relationships.

75% employees leave jobs as they are unhappy with the boss rather than the job.

3. Communicate: Effective communication is the key to happiness at work. When organizations are able to communicate effectively about the expectations from the employee and when the employees are able to have open discussions and flexibility, there is more than just work satisfaction.   

Happy people are 37% more productive and three times more creative than unhappy ones. 

4. Good Start: Starting your day on a good note can help enhance your mood and increase your focus. Take few minutes to laugh, interact, grab coffee, set your goals and visualize your day. This will set tone for the rest of the day.

Reaching early and doing stand up time casually communicating with the team can help in diversifying skills and building relationships.

5. Mindfulness: Last but not the least. It is a known fact that multitasking wastes a lot more time and can be one of the reasons for unhappiness. So one task at a time helps in bringing the focus to work at hand and reduces the anxiety levels resulting in better performance.

• Create to do list

• Prioritise important tasks

• Take mindfulness breaks (few min of deep breaths)

“The best time to pause is when you don’t have time for it.”

It’s time to acknowledge the fact that mental well being of employees is much more important than providing fancy workplace environment.

Meet and greet to be happy.

Does walking to someone unknown and starting a conversation scare you?

You’re not alone.

Many people shy away or make excuses to avoid meeting people, be a part of social gathering or network.

In fact NOT many make an effort to talk to the people in the same organisation, cubicle or neighbourhood.

This attitude may impact social image, brand, professional growth and success.

When it comes to professional networking people can benefit and expand their knowledge, opportunities and connections.

My Dad had a major fall last week and was immediately rushed to the hospital. There was no single room available, long wait time and busy doctors. Even though he had to go undergo surgery we were told to wait till a room gets vacant. Luckily his connections helped. He’s always been a friendly person and a kind being. That has helped him build some beautiful relationship both at work and in personal life. The connections helped us secure a room, an immediate slot for surgery and post care. I felt truly grateful at that moment for having such supportive people in our life. Our family was physically and emotionally supported.

Great relationships enhance your happiness. It’s not just about taking but giving as well. Many workplace relationships turn into deep friendships.

Networking helps in building motivation and collect creative ideas. It helps gain confidence and overcome fears . Recently, in one of the virtual workshops after a breakout room activity the participants shared we just realised how similar we are though we have known each other for the last 2 years but never interacted so deeply.

Here’s how to start networking even when you are shy:

🤝 Greet – Best-way to make two people happy is to smile. The giver and the receiver benefits equally. So when you meet someone next time in an elevator or social gathering give the gift of attention and smile instead of looking in the phone.

🤝 Smart – Use this strategy to build connections.

↪️ Small (Have small goals such as call one old friend everyday or 5 new connections per week on LinkedIn)

↪️ M – measurable (Setting a target)

↪️ A – achievable (Can you do that consistently every day/week)

↪️ R – resources (time, gadget, niche could be some of resources)

↪️ T – time (make it time bound such as for next one month or 3)

🤝 Tag – Take a friend along when going to an in person event. Tag someone here in the comments who helped you network.

🤝 Reach out – Every person we meet has some unique experience or story to share. Make an effort to go out, socialise and connect with like minded individuals

🤝 Work on body language – Notice how you sit and stand, if you are closed and not interested people will hesitate to make the conversation. Look up from phone, smile and make an eye contact with someone you can see around you.

Tag some connection you found through networking.

Share ideas what worked for you?

Let’s acknowledge & applaud helpful people who supported you during tough times.

After all what are we here for, if not to make life easier for each other?

Princesses wears cleats!

What? A ball over a doll??

This was my first reaction when my daughter chose ball over a doll at the age of 3.

When she went to see big boys playing soccer at the park leaving her swing, I wondered.

When she told me she wants to learn football I enrolled her thinking she will give up soon.

When she woke up early every weekend for her class without a fuss for more than a year; I felt that her love for football is real and not how I have been perceiving it.

Finally when I saw her play last week in Japan in an Asia Pac 2023 tournament I was overwhelmed.

Photo by Vidal Balielo Jr. on Pexels.com

Here’s what she believes in and how so many of my preconceived notions and biases changed during that match.

I feel these may benefit many of us in overcoming limiting beliefs and building resilient mindset.

1. Alone but not lonely : She was the only girl traveling in the team of boys from all over India. Initially the boys hesitated to include her and some made faces & remarks.

Her response – “It’s ok! I am happy with myself they will come to me when they know more about me.”

Don’t give in to judgements and opinions. Stand up in your uniqueness.

2. Support others: While everyone cheered when someone blocked or scored the goal. She clapped and tapped their shoulders when they couldn’t. She exclaimed “well tried”!!

Everyone is doing their best, acknowledge and appreciate.

3. Smash the glass ceiling: When the team was referred again and again as boys, she would gently remind the coach, “I am here.” He changed it to ‘my super champs’ after 3 days.

Voice your opinion and ideas, to bring a positive change. It may be ignored at first but continuous reminders help.

4. Never give up: She injured her arm during the match, but insisted on playing so that she can train her body and mind for overcoming challenges. Not only she did that, she inspired others. Coaches from other countries came and congratulated her.

Her Grandfather teaches her that challenging your body will expand your mind.

5. Be kind: The kid who inadvertently caused the injury was about to be scolded by the folks present but she intervened and said no one should say anything, it was unintentional. He and all his troupe became her best friends, holding her bag and sharing jokes with the team while she returned back to India.

She proved, she is more than a gender label and self confidence is the prerequisite for great undertakings.

Her motto is “Princesses wear cleats.”

So it is! We are privileged to be living in world of opportunities and abundance. Let’s stand up for our rights, be kind, embrace our individuality and be a winner wherever we are!!

Are you willing to claim your own worth as yourself?

Are you surrounded by people who don’t see your value yet?

Over the years I have done a lot of work on overcoming limiting beliefs and building resilient mindset, but the feeling of seeing your lil one teaching you this life lessons is priceless.

“Let’s grow a little everyday even when it’s hard.”

Think before you speak.

I am sure we all have heard this statement while growing up.

But do we REALLY think?

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Distractions, smart phones and social media are adding to the already existing egocentric nature where we are more concerned about our own thoughts and feelings than those of others.

We are uncomfortable with long pauses and silence in conversations, so to avoid these seemingly awkward moments, we jump right in with some small talk.

Learning to accept and possibly enjoy the quieter moments in conversations is something I discovered in coaching. These moments are magical, allows you to think and gives the speaker a chance to express deeper.

Here’s an acronym which can help you THINK before you speak:

T – Is it true? ✅

Sometimes our own perceptions and biases fog our thinking, hearing others can bring in an awareness of something that may be new to us and open up up a wider experience.

H – Is it helpful? ✅

Being mindful can give you an opportunity to explore response and control impulsive or sometimes inappropriate reactions.

I – Is it insightful?✅

Sometimes the negative comments or criticism or feedback may hold a lot of learning moments. Bringing an awareness may give you insights rather than feeling upset.

N – Is it necessary? ✅

Not every conversation may be useful for our growth, happiness and well-being. Ask yourself and choose the direction consciously.

K – Is it kind? ✅

Kindness brings happiness, positively impacts others around us and reduces stress. A few seconds can save hours or even lifetime of regret.

Words have power. It can either inspire or destroy. Choose them well!!

Have a thoughtful week ahead and feel the happiness it brings for you and those around you as well.

5S – organise your way to success.

Your important files are never where you kept them last.

Finding a uniform for your kid to wear tomorrow is pure luck.

The snack you want to eat right now got finished last week.

We deal with this every day, don’t we?

Dis-organisation takes a lot of precious time away from being productive.

Being organised has many benefits:

1. Increased productivity

2. Improved focus

3. Less stress

4. More calmness and peace

5. Better performance

6. Greater success

7. Good feelings

Having lived in Japan, I have incorporated many habits that has helped me over the years in building an organised home and office.

For example, a whiteboard on the fridge that reminds that the particular food is over and need to be ordered. When someone uses the last bit, the jar stays on the slab till it is marked on the board.

Here’s 5S method which is great way to bring effectiveness and efficiency in the organisational structure of a workplace or home.

Last but not the least stay flexible, be ready some days will be more taxing than others.

Our physical experience colours our emotional experience, and when my body is in a place that’s orderly, my mind becomes more serene.

Gretchen Rubin

Friends make us happy.

She called me and fixed a lunch date.

Came promptly on time to pick me from home.

We settled in our favourite restaurant and ordered our usual salads and mains.
Water was served and the Bangalore weather was as always beautiful.

She asked how’s everything? I smiled nodded gently.

She immediately followed with another question, then why no blogs? I eagerly wait for you to pen down your thoughts every week and have been missing it for few weeks. Knowing you and being your friend, I know your consistency and dedication towards work. Therefore, I was wondering if everything is ok! That’s why I decided to take you out for lunch and find out.

I felt so blessed and touched to have friends like her by my side who gently nudge me to achieve my goals.

It’s normal for all of us to fill the time during the day with things that may not be productive, unless we are focused on our goals every single day. In other words procrastination is a natural human tendency. My psychologist friend used a great way to approach it. Grateful for the discussion that continued after.

To stay consistent with our performance we need qualities such as self discipline, time management, dedication, dutifulness and persistence. We tend to give less importance to our tasks that are far into the future compared to the task at hand. There is even a term for this called “temporal discounting”.

What I was doing was “effort discounting” telling myself why put so much time and effort where outcome is not much visible.

Effort required > Reluctancy > Procrastination

Let me be the friend for you who believes in you and want the best for you. Here are a few tips that would help you with procrastination:

1. Set realistic goals : It’s ok to plan, write, break goals into sub-goals and assess the time required for each task.
2. Understand your why: What’s the reason behind your goals? What’s the vision you have for yourself? Keeping the long term vision as a reminder can help beat procrastination and build intrinsic motivation.
3. Have accountability partner: It could be a friend, team member, family member or mentor. Ask them to nudge you and keep a check.
4. Make it fun: Enjoy the moments in the journey towards your goals. After all happiness is not a destination it’s the small steps you take every day. It could be as simple as listening to your playlist while exercising or buying flowers for your work desk.
5. Self compassion: Don’t beat yourself up if you slip. Get up, dust yourself and back to action. Give yourself the love, time and space you need to recover and restart.

Most importantly surround yourself with people who push you, challenge you, make you laugh, make you better and make you happier.

Starry starry sky!!

Saturday night, me and my partner found ourselves standing on a peaceful and quiet beach. Away from the crowd, unspoiled, glittering golden sand, clear cold water splashing waves in high tide and darkness all around. After a long day drive it felt serene as the cold waves caressed the tired feet.

The darkness around was also bringing some fears on the surface. I was constantly putting on the flash light of my phone to make sure I am safe and there are no crawlies around me.

It took sometime to feel present in that moment and to soak in all that was around. The sound of the waves, the touch of the water, the fresh breeze and the stillness of just being there.

We switched off our flashlights and suddenly the darkness was so beautiful as we became aware of the sky full of stars.

The more I presented myself to that stillness the more clearer it became. With every passing moment I could notice many little twinkling clusters.

My fear of something crawling over my feet was gone, I was comfortable with darkness and I was in the complete awareness of that moment.

Isn’t that what happens with us in life and work? We live with fears and uncertainties, we complain and criticise.

We feel the darkness so strongly that we miss the beauty that it may hold.

Last year due to Covid-19 like most others I was so busy working from home, managing kids, their emotions and education. In all that activities I missed taking an action on one of my important goals.

The feeling wasn’t good till the time I came in complete awareness of the surrounding darkness. The goal then became starry sky. It become clearer and clearer as I was connecting with myself.

I am so proud to share that I managed to take action, enrolled myself in classes, attended it every week even while I was traveling, submitted my assignments inspite of all the work and responsibilities that were always existing.

Some days were stressful but one of my friend taught me to disconnect with an intention to reconnect.

Just like looking up constantly at the starry sky can be painful for your neck. So you disconnect, move your gaze knowing that this will help you refocus and realign with much more clarity.

What’s your starry sky?

What fears have been holding you to take action?

How does it feel to be in complete awareness of your goal?

Happy to share my achievement and more equipped to help you reach your goals!!

Happily Hybrid

During my recent workshop on “Work Life Balance” someone asked this important question just as we were closing.

“With Hybrid work becoming the new normal how can we create a balance and stay happy at work?”

Due to lack of time couldn’t answer in detail 😄 so post the session I was having a feeling that this concern definitely requires more deep dive then just touching upon the topic.

A hybrid work model is one in which some employees work from home while others work onsite. Other hybrid models include a mix of in-office and remote work throughout the week for employees, such as three days onsite and two days at home. According to Slack, 73% of employees prefer a mix of remote and in-office work.

Businessmanagementdaily.com

As with everything else WFH has its own share of challenges such as distractions, inability to unplug, define personal & professional boundaries, lack of motivation, gaps in communication and collaboration over virtual calls.

Having said that there has been an increasing demand for hybrid working as it gives much more flexibility and productive time which could be be used quite effectively.

More time for pets, kids, exercise, learning and recreational activities are some of the things that got picked up during Covid 19.

To continue working on hybrid mode we need to equip ourselves with new ways of doing the same work. Let’s call them the 3 E’s (ease)😄

1. Effective communication: A lot can get lost if we are unable to see the person or the body language. The nonverbal communication plays a big role in getting across the message. Listening not just with our ears but observing and understanding the other person can be a skill that can be learned.

Effective communication and efficient leadership are intertwined.

2. Environment: Having a routine and setting a workspace at home can enhance focus and create boundaries between work and home. If possible choose to work from a room which is least disturbing or else opt for a Co-working space couple of times during the week. A workspace that’s comfortable and inviting with good lighting, ergonomic chair, fresh flowers at the table can add to joy of working. Dressing up for work instead of being in PJ’s can prevent from slouching and help create a better video presence and interaction.

The work wear & home wear are remarkable boundary setting ideas.

3. Enthusiasm: Less physical interaction and team activity may lower the desire to strive for more and achieve long term goals. To maintain the intrinsic motivation it’s important to have a mentor guidance, setting short term goals and concrete action plans. This can be further energised by outdoor team building sessions, rewards, appreciative meetings and celebrations. With every change we adapt and find new ways to manage. Adaptability mindset is crucial in today’s work environment.

So whether it is WFH or from office, what is needed is the freedom to choose, flexibility and options to be your best at work.

Let’s stay open to the opportunities and develop a work system that enhances your happiness and productivity.

☝️Which E you think will ease the way to Hybrid working? Eagerly awaiting your comments 😊

Freedom

How free are you?

When we are living in pain, fear, conflict and disillusion; we may feel imprisoned with:

1. Lack of confidence

2. Less creativity in our day to day tasks

3. Reluctance towards new changes and opportunities.

4. Least motivation towards actions that we are supposed to take.

Till the time I felt I am not good enough, I kept working hard, making long to do lists and stressing myself with work that could be outsourced. The day I decided to break free myself from that belief things changed.

We all can claim that freedom towards our happiness.

Along with less stress and minimal efforts we could feel:

1. More confidence

2. Enhanced creativity

3. Open towards new experiences and opportunities

4. Intrinsically motivated towards goals and actions.

Freedom is an ability to self express.

Self expression comes from emotional freedom.

Here’s some ways that helped me to achieve that freedom:

1. Self acceptance: Our needs, values and beliefs make us who we are. Accepting, acknowledging and standing up for our rights will give us the freedom to live upto our best potential.

2. Self love: Just as we accept little children with all the imperfections, we can try and love ourselves for who we are. Resentment and anger towards self or others is only detrimental for our health and well-being.

3. Self responsibility: We are adults and now we can not depend our happiness on our parents, partner, boss, team or friend. We need to take responsibility for our actions and situations we choose to be in.

“I claim my freedom to be happy.”

Just do it!

You are capable.

You are amazing.

You hold the resources within to make you a winner.

You are whole and complete.

Is there any reason to play small?

Everything that you desire and deserve need your action. So just do it!!

I used this mantra at the beginning of my coaching journey. Every time I had a doubt, fear, a feeling of procrastination, comparison or negative self talk; I reminded myself to just do it.

Do it because I love, I care and I am compassionate about what I do.

The journey wasn’t easy there were setbacks and failures. Every setback was a learning. I improved on the skills, learned new ways to bring positive transformation in my clients life.

Soon action became:

A – Adapting

C – Changes

T – To

I – Improve

O – Outcomes +

N – New skills

Just the willingness to take the action is half the battle won. The fear of failure looms over when we think too much about the consequences and overpowers our ability to take actions.

So take that plunge and think of what helped you in the past in overcoming doubts and fear. We all have those little achievements which we fondly remember, isn’t it?

Like the exam we cleared, trek we managed to climb, first promotion or overcoming health challenges.

Who did that for you? No one but you!

No one can tell you what’s right for you but you. No one can control how you think and what you do but you!

Take the responsibility of self. It’s a mindset to proactively work on your goals and actions instead of following others and waiting for others to change.

Use this powerful slogan/affirmation and take some action towards a better life.

What’s on your do it someday list? – Now is a good time so JUST DO IT!!

Little things that make a difference.

Hey do you know this nostalgic feeling?

When we meet someone who acknowledges us OR we enjoy the conversations with them.

Most of the time we keep reminiscing the talk in our mind.

The words float every now and then, the bio chemistry of body changes, we smile within and notice the heartbeats go a notch faster.

These are mainly thoughts of appreciation. It means recognising and acknowledging the qualities of someone or something.

Everyone loves recognition for what they do, including young kids. But here’s why leaders use appreciation at workplace:

1. Appreciation enhances engagement and commitment.
2. Appreciation increase productivity and builds intrinsic motivation.
3. It creates happy workplaces, with ripple effect of smiles and good thoughts.
4. It builds loyalty and reduces attrition.

Recently I worked with a client who used appreciation techniques at work, what worked best for him was not only the workplace environment improved but the good energy flowed into his personal life as well.

Employees feel happy to come at work and go back energised to their personal relationships.

Let’s make gratitude and appreciation a daily habit. But remember there is difference between a thank you note and a sincere expression of timely and relevant appreciation.

Best part it’s free!!

So would you like to appreciate someone or would you like to acknowledge someone who appreciates you? Let’s chat in the comments section below.