Meet and greet to be happy.

Does walking to someone unknown and starting a conversation scare you?

You’re not alone.

Many people shy away or make excuses to avoid meeting people, be a part of social gathering or network.

In fact NOT many make an effort to talk to the people in the same organisation, cubicle or neighbourhood.

This attitude may impact social image, brand, professional growth and success.

When it comes to professional networking people can benefit and expand their knowledge, opportunities and connections.

My Dad had a major fall last week and was immediately rushed to the hospital. There was no single room available, long wait time and busy doctors. Even though he had to go undergo surgery we were told to wait till a room gets vacant. Luckily his connections helped. He’s always been a friendly person and a kind being. That has helped him build some beautiful relationship both at work and in personal life. The connections helped us secure a room, an immediate slot for surgery and post care. I felt truly grateful at that moment for having such supportive people in our life. Our family was physically and emotionally supported.

Great relationships enhance your happiness. It’s not just about taking but giving as well. Many workplace relationships turn into deep friendships.

Networking helps in building motivation and collect creative ideas. It helps gain confidence and overcome fears . Recently, in one of the virtual workshops after a breakout room activity the participants shared we just realised how similar we are though we have known each other for the last 2 years but never interacted so deeply.

Here’s how to start networking even when you are shy:

🤝 Greet – Best-way to make two people happy is to smile. The giver and the receiver benefits equally. So when you meet someone next time in an elevator or social gathering give the gift of attention and smile instead of looking in the phone.

🤝 Smart – Use this strategy to build connections.

↪️ Small (Have small goals such as call one old friend everyday or 5 new connections per week on LinkedIn)

↪️ M – measurable (Setting a target)

↪️ A – achievable (Can you do that consistently every day/week)

↪️ R – resources (time, gadget, niche could be some of resources)

↪️ T – time (make it time bound such as for next one month or 3)

🤝 Tag – Take a friend along when going to an in person event. Tag someone here in the comments who helped you network.

🤝 Reach out – Every person we meet has some unique experience or story to share. Make an effort to go out, socialise and connect with like minded individuals

🤝 Work on body language – Notice how you sit and stand, if you are closed and not interested people will hesitate to make the conversation. Look up from phone, smile and make an eye contact with someone you can see around you.

Tag some connection you found through networking.

Share ideas what worked for you?

Let’s acknowledge & applaud helpful people who supported you during tough times.

After all what are we here for, if not to make life easier for each other?

Think before you speak.

I am sure we all have heard this statement while growing up.

But do we REALLY think?

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Distractions, smart phones and social media are adding to the already existing egocentric nature where we are more concerned about our own thoughts and feelings than those of others.

We are uncomfortable with long pauses and silence in conversations, so to avoid these seemingly awkward moments, we jump right in with some small talk.

Learning to accept and possibly enjoy the quieter moments in conversations is something I discovered in coaching. These moments are magical, allows you to think and gives the speaker a chance to express deeper.

Here’s an acronym which can help you THINK before you speak:

T – Is it true? ✅

Sometimes our own perceptions and biases fog our thinking, hearing others can bring in an awareness of something that may be new to us and open up up a wider experience.

H – Is it helpful? ✅

Being mindful can give you an opportunity to explore response and control impulsive or sometimes inappropriate reactions.

I – Is it insightful?✅

Sometimes the negative comments or criticism or feedback may hold a lot of learning moments. Bringing an awareness may give you insights rather than feeling upset.

N – Is it necessary? ✅

Not every conversation may be useful for our growth, happiness and well-being. Ask yourself and choose the direction consciously.

K – Is it kind? ✅

Kindness brings happiness, positively impacts others around us and reduces stress. A few seconds can save hours or even lifetime of regret.

Words have power. It can either inspire or destroy. Choose them well!!

Have a thoughtful week ahead and feel the happiness it brings for you and those around you as well.

5S – organise your way to success.

Your important files are never where you kept them last.

Finding a uniform for your kid to wear tomorrow is pure luck.

The snack you want to eat right now got finished last week.

We deal with this every day, don’t we?

Dis-organisation takes a lot of precious time away from being productive.

Being organised has many benefits:

1. Increased productivity

2. Improved focus

3. Less stress

4. More calmness and peace

5. Better performance

6. Greater success

7. Good feelings

Having lived in Japan, I have incorporated many habits that has helped me over the years in building an organised home and office.

For example, a whiteboard on the fridge that reminds that the particular food is over and need to be ordered. When someone uses the last bit, the jar stays on the slab till it is marked on the board.

Here’s 5S method which is great way to bring effectiveness and efficiency in the organisational structure of a workplace or home.

Last but not the least stay flexible, be ready some days will be more taxing than others.

Our physical experience colours our emotional experience, and when my body is in a place that’s orderly, my mind becomes more serene.

Gretchen Rubin

Freedom

How free are you?

When we are living in pain, fear, conflict and disillusion; we may feel imprisoned with:

1. Lack of confidence

2. Less creativity in our day to day tasks

3. Reluctance towards new changes and opportunities.

4. Least motivation towards actions that we are supposed to take.

Till the time I felt I am not good enough, I kept working hard, making long to do lists and stressing myself with work that could be outsourced. The day I decided to break free myself from that belief things changed.

We all can claim that freedom towards our happiness.

Along with less stress and minimal efforts we could feel:

1. More confidence

2. Enhanced creativity

3. Open towards new experiences and opportunities

4. Intrinsically motivated towards goals and actions.

Freedom is an ability to self express.

Self expression comes from emotional freedom.

Here’s some ways that helped me to achieve that freedom:

1. Self acceptance: Our needs, values and beliefs make us who we are. Accepting, acknowledging and standing up for our rights will give us the freedom to live upto our best potential.

2. Self love: Just as we accept little children with all the imperfections, we can try and love ourselves for who we are. Resentment and anger towards self or others is only detrimental for our health and well-being.

3. Self responsibility: We are adults and now we can not depend our happiness on our parents, partner, boss, team or friend. We need to take responsibility for our actions and situations we choose to be in.

“I claim my freedom to be happy.”

Little things that make a difference.

Hey do you know this nostalgic feeling?

When we meet someone who acknowledges us OR we enjoy the conversations with them.

Most of the time we keep reminiscing the talk in our mind.

The words float every now and then, the bio chemistry of body changes, we smile within and notice the heartbeats go a notch faster.

These are mainly thoughts of appreciation. It means recognising and acknowledging the qualities of someone or something.

Everyone loves recognition for what they do, including young kids. But here’s why leaders use appreciation at workplace:

1. Appreciation enhances engagement and commitment.
2. Appreciation increase productivity and builds intrinsic motivation.
3. It creates happy workplaces, with ripple effect of smiles and good thoughts.
4. It builds loyalty and reduces attrition.

Recently I worked with a client who used appreciation techniques at work, what worked best for him was not only the workplace environment improved but the good energy flowed into his personal life as well.

Employees feel happy to come at work and go back energised to their personal relationships.

Let’s make gratitude and appreciation a daily habit. But remember there is difference between a thank you note and a sincere expression of timely and relevant appreciation.

Best part it’s free!!

So would you like to appreciate someone or would you like to acknowledge someone who appreciates you? Let’s chat in the comments section below.

Stressed and still happy?

Can you be stressed and yet happy?

The answer is YES!

But it has to be the right amount of stress towards a meaningful purpose.

According to the research published in Journal of Happiness Studies, people who work hard at improving a skill or an ability do tend to experience stress but also greater happiness in the long run.

Working on new goals can be tough, creating new habits requires lots of effort, learning something new is hard and dealing with people with different mindset and volatile emotions can be stressful.

That’s why many organisations came forward and created a space for employees to talk about and learn ways to deal with stress during April, being the awareness month.

Stress has many beautiful attributes. We stress about things we care for, like our career, raising children and relationships at work and home.

So what tools and techniques help you deal with stress?

1. Meditation / Mindfulness

2. Nature walk

3. Journaling

4. One step at a time approach

5. Reading good books

6. Watching videos

7. Listening to music

8. Sleeping

9. Meeting friends

10. Yoga / Gym

Let’s remember “Happiness” is a choice and so is “Stress”!!

It’s not what you say, it’s what people hear.

My dad is suffering from Parkinson’s and needs help with some of the basic activities which we otherwise take for granted. 

My mom is his primary care taker on a day to day basis and due to her age and responsibilities, at times gets tired.

They both manage their lives well, with a disciplined routine, laughter yoga, meditation and gratitude practice. They never bother us with anything and always inspire us with positivity.

As I visited them last week I was observing them both. Dad always wants to be in control due to his strong personality he had while we were growing up. Mom being a caring soul would stop him from doing anything that might result in his or kids discomfort.

The intention is mostly right but how the other person perceives the same information is through his/her own lens of emotions, beliefs and pre existing thoughts. 

Emotions are the guiding light towards acceptance or avoidance of people, objects or experience. If you are happy you will be readily accept new ideas and experiment with things whereas an unhappy mind will judge, criticise and avoid the same.

So today observe yourself when someone says 6 do you see 9 or when you show them 9 others see it as 6.

How to deal with negative people?

I often get this question asked during live sessions.

We are always around people. At work, at home and at social gatherings. The thoughts that we think and the words we speak create a vibrational energy around us. But the fact is some of the people are so unaware of the negativity they create around themselves. Constant complaining, stressing and creating worries for self and others creates a disturbance within and outside as well.

The ability to manage our emotions and to remain calm in stressful situations has a huge impact on our performance. Top performers in any field have honed this art of coping with negative people and energy draining conversations.

“Emotions drive people, people drive performance.”

While I have answered this differently every time depending on the audience asking the question, what follows here is some of the best. Choose which are the ones you would like to adopt.

1. Set limits: Especially with complainers. They want someone to listen to what they think is a huge problem. You may feel compelled to listen as you don’t want to be rude or uncaring towards the person. So setting a limit on time and conversation helps both the listener as well as the complainer. Tell them your time availability and before you move away ask how do they intend to fix the problem.

Photo by Liza Summer on Pexels.com

2. Emotions check: When being around negative people it is natural to lose your momentum towards your goals and feel low in energy. Becoming aware of your emotions will help you to choose your battles wisely. Journal your thoughts, take constructive actions such as spending time with self, reading and building growth mindset.

3. Healthy boundaries: When your sense of pleasure and satisfaction are derived from the opinions of other people, you are no longer the master of your own happiness. While it is impossible to completely refrain from in a social media driven world, you can always set healthy boundaries for your peace of mind. Value the opinions of those who you look up to and see as role models.

“Your perception of me is a reflection of you; my reaction to you is an awareness of me.”

4. Pay attention: What you give your focus and attention to grows. If your attention is attracted to negative situations and emotions, then they will continue to grow in your awareness. Instead focus on actions to better yourself, learn ways to build a sense of personal efficacy that enhances your productivity and reduces your stress.

5. Forgive and forget: Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. It doesn’t mean that the others are right but it means you have chosen to give yourself peace and move ahead. Sometimes we forgive but most of the times we don’t forget. Holding on to that feeling is bad for our mind and body and that may trigger some form of illness.

“The first to apologise is the bravest. The first to forgive is the strongest. The first to forget is the happiest.”

6. Build a support system: It may feel that you can handle the situation on your own but having few supportive people around will help you stay emotionally and mentally strong. When things get rough this network will help you stay energised, focus on your thoughts in the right direction and hold you accountable. Social media, blogs, professional network, co-workers, volunteering are great way to create and be part of your own interest group.

7. Make them happy: Just because they have grown to be negative doesn’t mean they can’t laugh. Brain plasticity is a term that refers to the brains ability to change and adapt as a result of experience. Find what brings them joy and constantly remind them and do those activities together.

Remember you are far more in control than you realise. If someone’s negative energy is compromising your happiness; move from Impulse to greater choice for your own well-being.

Build better together

It’s heartening to see how organisations are taking an initiative to introduce “happiness at work.”

According to the UN, the universal aspiration in the life of an individual should be happiness.

This year India saw a marginal improvement in it’s happiness ranking, jumping up three spots to 136 from 139 as per the World Happiness report 2022.

The lesson of the world happiness report over the years is that social support, generosity to one another and honesty in government are crucial for wellbeing says report co author Jeffery Sachs.

“Build better together” theme of the year 2022 emphasises the fact that we need to encourage skills like resilience and adaptability to create happy workplaces.

Here’s three ways organisations and leaders can enhance happiness at work:

1. Rethink strategies for overall development of yourself and your organisation. From “should” do to a “could” do approach. It helps teams to innovate new ways of overcoming challenges.

2. Review policies and limitations. Find the gaps and create “Learn it all” culture instead of “know it all”; so that there is openness to ask for help and support.

3. Good relationships at work helps improve productivity. Find ways to reconnect. Create awareness sessions, talks, coaching for leaders and promote well-being. Hybrid work has emphasised the need to understand digital body language and communicate effectively.

We are witnessing a crisis situation in the world. The Russia – Ukraine war is costing human suffering and economic losses. So let’s pledge today on this international day of happiness to create an awareness towards building a compassionate world.

Each one of us adds to the peace and happiness of this planet as we learn ways to manage our stress, keep calm and show kindness.

Tag someone in the comments who has been your guide to happiness this year. It could be your organisation, leader, coach or friend. This small act of appreciation or gratitude can boost your positivity.

Be kind to your mind.

I noticed this bright colourful bus stop while waiting at the traffic signal. The words written in bold were eye catchy and heart soothing at the same time.

I quickly reached out for my phone and clicked a pic. Thanks to #Headspace for such a wonderful way to remind us to be kind to our mind.

Research has proven that acts of kindness when practiced consistently reduce anxiety, create better health and increase life span. Kindness creates a cycle of long lasting happiness and altruism.

The researchers also found that people who were kind tended to be higher in “eudaimonic happiness” (a sense of meaning and purpose in life) more than “hedonic happiness” (a sense of pleasure and comfort).

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” – Dalai Lama

You may wonder that how does this kindness help us in our day to day life of work and long to-do lists?

1. Being kind to our mind helps us in goal pursuit by promoting a growth oriented mindset and belief in our ability to change.
2. Being non-critical to self and being aware of our thoughts helps in dealing with negative emotions and stress rather than exaggerating them.
3. Self kindness triggers self awareness that can reduce unhealthy habits, helps to stay focused on routine and promotes good health.

Everything we do from our goals, performance at work, relationships or health it is deeply associated with the way we communicate with self. That’s why being kind to our mind is not self indulgence but an act of survival. So here’s a few ways to build that kindness into our daily life:

1. Few minutes of Meditation or mindfulness practice.
2. Journaling thoughts and being authentic about feelings.
3. Monitoring self dialogue few times during the day.
4. Giving physical body some activity and mental body, time away from digital space.
5. Using affirming statements such as “I am peaceful.”
6. Shift to internal locus of control instead of external locus of control.
7. Seek support, read, join communities and learn from those who inspire.

Being kind to self is a way of recharging our own batteries before helping others. We need to take care of our thoughts, feelings and actions so that we operate from a place of surplus and are always abundant to enrich others.

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