Princesses wears cleats!

What? A ball over a doll??

This was my first reaction when my daughter chose ball over a doll at the age of 3.

When she went to see big boys playing soccer at the park leaving her swing, I wondered.

When she told me she wants to learn football I enrolled her thinking she will give up soon.

When she woke up early every weekend for her class without a fuss for more than a year; I felt that her love for football is real and not how I have been perceiving it.

Finally when I saw her play last week in Japan in an Asia Pac 2023 tournament I was overwhelmed.

Photo by Vidal Balielo Jr. on Pexels.com

Here’s what she believes in and how so many of my preconceived notions and biases changed during that match.

I feel these may benefit many of us in overcoming limiting beliefs and building resilient mindset.

1. Alone but not lonely : She was the only girl traveling in the team of boys from all over India. Initially the boys hesitated to include her and some made faces & remarks.

Her response – “It’s ok! I am happy with myself they will come to me when they know more about me.”

Don’t give in to judgements and opinions. Stand up in your uniqueness.

2. Support others: While everyone cheered when someone blocked or scored the goal. She clapped and tapped their shoulders when they couldn’t. She exclaimed “well tried”!!

Everyone is doing their best, acknowledge and appreciate.

3. Smash the glass ceiling: When the team was referred again and again as boys, she would gently remind the coach, “I am here.” He changed it to ‘my super champs’ after 3 days.

Voice your opinion and ideas, to bring a positive change. It may be ignored at first but continuous reminders help.

4. Never give up: She injured her arm during the match, but insisted on playing so that she can train her body and mind for overcoming challenges. Not only she did that, she inspired others. Coaches from other countries came and congratulated her.

Her Grandfather teaches her that challenging your body will expand your mind.

5. Be kind: The kid who inadvertently caused the injury was about to be scolded by the folks present but she intervened and said no one should say anything, it was unintentional. He and all his troupe became her best friends, holding her bag and sharing jokes with the team while she returned back to India.

She proved, she is more than a gender label and self confidence is the prerequisite for great undertakings.

Her motto is “Princesses wear cleats.”

So it is! We are privileged to be living in world of opportunities and abundance. Let’s stand up for our rights, be kind, embrace our individuality and be a winner wherever we are!!

Are you willing to claim your own worth as yourself?

Are you surrounded by people who don’t see your value yet?

Over the years I have done a lot of work on overcoming limiting beliefs and building resilient mindset, but the feeling of seeing your lil one teaching you this life lessons is priceless.

“Let’s grow a little everyday even when it’s hard.”

Just do it!

You are capable.

You are amazing.

You hold the resources within to make you a winner.

You are whole and complete.

Is there any reason to play small?

Everything that you desire and deserve need your action. So just do it!!

I used this mantra at the beginning of my coaching journey. Every time I had a doubt, fear, a feeling of procrastination, comparison or negative self talk; I reminded myself to just do it.

Do it because I love, I care and I am compassionate about what I do.

The journey wasn’t easy there were setbacks and failures. Every setback was a learning. I improved on the skills, learned new ways to bring positive transformation in my clients life.

Soon action became:

A – Adapting

C – Changes

T – To

I – Improve

O – Outcomes +

N – New skills

Just the willingness to take the action is half the battle won. The fear of failure looms over when we think too much about the consequences and overpowers our ability to take actions.

So take that plunge and think of what helped you in the past in overcoming doubts and fear. We all have those little achievements which we fondly remember, isn’t it?

Like the exam we cleared, trek we managed to climb, first promotion or overcoming health challenges.

Who did that for you? No one but you!

No one can tell you what’s right for you but you. No one can control how you think and what you do but you!

Take the responsibility of self. It’s a mindset to proactively work on your goals and actions instead of following others and waiting for others to change.

Use this powerful slogan/affirmation and take some action towards a better life.

What’s on your do it someday list? – Now is a good time so JUST DO IT!!

E-motion

Emotions are energy in motion!

What do I mean?

Louise Hay in her book “Heal your life” talks about how feelings and emotions can cause various “dis-eases” in our body.

Feelings are what we experience and label as anger, sadness, joy and fear. The thoughts and interpretations that carry these emotions give it meaning.

When we understand emotions as energy, we can hold, release, suppress or ignore them.

The suppressing and ignoring of emotions can be the reason for stress, anxiety and burnout.

Being aware of the sensations in our body can be helpful in dealing with limiting patterns, bringing in positive transformation and lasting happiness.

In a safe and supportive environment this emotional energy can be channelised towards intelligence, creativity and discovering new path ways for expansion and fulfilment.

One of the tools to manage our thoughts, feelings and actions is meditation or mindfulness. It allows us to access our emotional centers of the brain and rewire patterns of stress. When practiced regularly it can create emotional balance and inner peace.

Our mind is capable of producing joy, agony, ecstasy and fear. So either we can use it to create miracle or misery.

Try this Meditation. Share your feedback on how it helped you deal with your emotions.

Build better together

It’s heartening to see how organisations are taking an initiative to introduce “happiness at work.”

According to the UN, the universal aspiration in the life of an individual should be happiness.

This year India saw a marginal improvement in it’s happiness ranking, jumping up three spots to 136 from 139 as per the World Happiness report 2022.

The lesson of the world happiness report over the years is that social support, generosity to one another and honesty in government are crucial for wellbeing says report co author Jeffery Sachs.

“Build better together” theme of the year 2022 emphasises the fact that we need to encourage skills like resilience and adaptability to create happy workplaces.

Here’s three ways organisations and leaders can enhance happiness at work:

1. Rethink strategies for overall development of yourself and your organisation. From “should” do to a “could” do approach. It helps teams to innovate new ways of overcoming challenges.

2. Review policies and limitations. Find the gaps and create “Learn it all” culture instead of “know it all”; so that there is openness to ask for help and support.

3. Good relationships at work helps improve productivity. Find ways to reconnect. Create awareness sessions, talks, coaching for leaders and promote well-being. Hybrid work has emphasised the need to understand digital body language and communicate effectively.

We are witnessing a crisis situation in the world. The Russia – Ukraine war is costing human suffering and economic losses. So let’s pledge today on this international day of happiness to create an awareness towards building a compassionate world.

Each one of us adds to the peace and happiness of this planet as we learn ways to manage our stress, keep calm and show kindness.

Tag someone in the comments who has been your guide to happiness this year. It could be your organisation, leader, coach or friend. This small act of appreciation or gratitude can boost your positivity.

Acts of kindness makes the world happier

There is so much happening in the world and the news from media channels is making it further grave. The unexpected second wave of Covid-19 has taken every one by shock. There is suffering, loss and pain. The world has turned upside down for some.

But it’s not all dark and gloomy that’s taking my attention it’s also the loving, genuine acts of kindness all over the world.

We still remember people coming together in new ways – singing songs from the balconies, lighting candles, banging plates and ringing bells. Lots of groups were formed for support to senior citizens with grocery and volunteers in each condo taking charge.

Billboards in Dubai giving hope and strength.

In the virtual world, there are movie nights happening, Instagram is filled with virtually choreographed songs and dances. Some are even connecting with old friends and distant relatives over chat to check on their well-being.

The fear has taught us the value of hope. The uncertainty has reminded us the power of being grateful for the present moment.

I was truly touched when a dear friend someone I know offered to keep another friend’s 8 year old daughter at her house as parents were diagnosed with covid positive. She along with her daily work, took physical care of the child, giving her emotional and mental support. Managing her own family and home schooling of both the kids for almost 2 weeks. These incidents remind me that there is a power beyond this fear. Power of love and kindness.

We can choose to be kind and loving in these unforeseen times. We can choose to make a difference in someone’s life. We can choose to be hopeful while taking precautions. This is a different time, let’s choose to make a difference. Here’s how:

1. Reach out or call someone you haven’t been in touch for a long time.

2. Appreciate someone, sometimes the people close to you may be the one craving for your love and attention the most.

3. Send positive messages and uplifting thoughts on social media. It can change someone’s day.

4. Praise your teammates for being committed and consistent in the virtual world.

5. Spend time playing with kids or pets. They are feeling the psychological fatigue too.

6. Offer support to neighbours, it could be just a tea or one time meal to a family.

7. Donate to food and oxygen banks after doing research on the authenticity of their work.

8. Share your expertise with others. Whether it’s a religious discourse, meditation, yoga, cooking or helping working parents kids with home schooling work.

9. Write a letter or send a card of to someone who may be lonely.

10. Offer a listening ear or provide motivation to someone struggling with business.

People have more time to take stock than ever before, choose to deliberately take action. Remember that during a crisis, the people who cope best are those who help others. Acts of kindness creates a virtuous cycle that promotes lasting happiness and altruism.

“We cannot do great things on this earth, only small things with great love.”

– Mother Teresa

What acts of generosity have you heard about in your community or anywhere else in which someone has helped others during the coronavirus crisis?

Please share in the comments any groups or links that may be useful for people and use #kindnessmatters let’s spread positivity today to heal the planet.

Let’s colour the life happy!!

Within each one of us is a fountain of colours, which keeps changing with time and experiences.

There are different colors associated with our feelings and emotions.

Anger is associated with red.

Jealousy is mostly seen as green.

Joy and happiness with yellow.

Love and romance with pink.

Sadness with blue.

Peace with white.

Sacrifice with saffron and

Knowledge with violet.

Harmony in diversity makes life vibrant, joyful, and more colorful.

Let’s make our life like Holi, where each color is seen clearly, which adds charm to each area of our life – be it work, relationships or health.

Yesterday during the Holi festival I experienced the vibrancy, joy, colourful and forgiving nature of life.

When colours are seen individually, it is awareness.

When all the colours get mixed up, we end up with muddy brown just like our emotional and mental clutter.

Each one of us plays many roles and handles various emotions which needs to be clearly defined.

Emotional confusion can create hurdles in living a happy life.

Here’s ways to add happy colours to our life:

1. Name it to tame it: Develop a daily practice of checking in on your feelings. What am I feeling today? Pick any three words that describe your feelings. For example: Anxious, nervous and frustrated.

2. Reason it out: Create any two statements with those three feelings. For example “I am feeling anxious as there is lots to do.” & “I am frustrated that I am unable to finish my tasks; that makes me nervous.” Expressing your feelings gives you a chance to untangle emotional ball of thoughts.

3. Act: Create an action statement that will help you overcome this emotional turmoil. For example: As I am frustrated and angry to the long list of task, the suitable action could be making a to-do list or prioritising.

Let’s add some happy colours and habits to our day to day life and stay vibrant and joyful. Happy Holi.

7 ways to WFH Happily

These days I wake up to a peaceful morning, birds chirping in the balcony, no morning rush hour traffic, which gives me a bit more time for my morning rituals which includes a nice cup of tea with my book.

But this peace soon gets shattered and the morning madness starts when kids wake up and everyone occupies their designated space in the house with their gadgets. A cacophony of voices starts rising from the kitchen, online school classes and Zoom based office meetings. From national anthem to gummy bear song and meditation to placating demanding customers.

The kitchen is the “new water cooler” where we all meet in between our sessions to grab coffee and snacks etc. Other times the conversations between family members happen only on WhatsApp chats or gestures. We have mastered the art of using sign language to ask, do you want tea, going for a walk, no tv till you finish homework and going to sleep in other room :).

As a mother I feel, there are more responsibilities than just household work. We tend to be more emotionally available for our children even if it means just a cuddle. Most women usually invest additional 3 to 4 hours a day on household responsibilities and child care – adding up to essentially another part time job. No wonder they are among the most likely group to be considering stepping back, so much so the pandemic induced economic downturn is being called she-cession rather than recession.

As we step into the second year of pandemic, here’re 7 ways to bring more balance and happiness in our life while WFH:

• 1. Take a nature walk: Studies reveal that spending time in nature has a positive effect on the mind, body, and spirit. Yoshifumi Miyazaki from Chiba University, Japan, discovered that going for a 40-minute walk in a green forest lowers the level of cortisol, the stress hormone, blood pressure and supports the immune system more than a similar 40-minute walk indoors. Use this time to exercise, reflect, recharge and heal. Due to time constraints me and my husband have combined the walk in nature as “us” time where we connect and talk about everything ranging from kids to planning holidays.

• 2. Power of routine: Routine is a schedule that you create to prioritise and make space for habits that are important. Yes, it takes time and effort and yes, it may not be possible to follow it on certain days but it also brings more discipline in following the schedule which is more winning and productive. Just Start and the add complicated tasks slowly once you are in the discipline of following a routine. For example, waking up at 4 am didn’t happen in day. I started with 6 am and slowly worked my way up to 4am.

• 3. Clutter free space: Our surroundings have a strong influence on our behaviour, cognition, emotions, decision-making, and even our relationship with others. A study by researchers from Princeton University Neuroscience Institute found that clutter limits your brain’s ability to process information. Look around your space and see what can you remove to create a better space for yourself. Effectively working from home requires optimising your environment to maximise health, happiness and productivity.

• 4. Setting boundaries: Boundaries can be physical or emotional, and they can range from being loose to rigid. Setting boundaries is an important part of establishing one’s identity and is a crucial aspect of mental health and well-being. Setting healthy boundaries can have many benefits, including helping people make decisions based on what is best for them, not just for the people around them. This autonomy is an important part of self-care.

• 5. Self care Sundays: Practicing a weekly digital detox and spending time on self will help a lot in enhancing your health and well-being. More and more studies are showing how our screen time negatively impacts everything from our sleep and memory to attention span, creativity, productivity, and even health. Unmindful social media usage can also lead to social comparison, which can result in impaired self-esteem and even depression, just having our phones in sight causes a rise in cortisol – body’s main stress hormone. Carve out time for meaningful purposes, relationships and self care tasks.

• 6. Make social connections: Meaningful relationships remain at the core of our emotional and psychological well-being as humans. However, the last one year has isolated us in our homes and left us with only virtual connections. More and more people are experiencing anxiety, depression and loneliness due to lack of human connections. Encourage ‘virtual water cooler chats’ during breaks. Login early to just ‘check-in’, ‘build emotional connections’ and have a ‘buddy system’.

• 7. Ask for support: Sometimes it’s not other’s unwillingness to provide Support, it’s our inability to ask for help. While growing up if I have seen my mother managing home front efficiently, somewhere I started believing that asking for help would mean “weakness” or “lack”. Most of the organisations and leaders are also willing to help but how often do we come over that self – limiting thought and seek help. Remember, people like to reciprocate and as a leader you can create the culture of asking and giving help in your organisation.

^{Embrace change, give up perfectionism and fine tune where you need to. After all what life throws at you is not your choice but what you make of it is 100% your choice.}

Let’s celebrate happiness!!

20th March is the International Day of Happiness it recognises the relevance of happiness and well-being as a universal goal in the lives of human beings around the world and the importance of their recognition in public policy objectives.

It also recognises the need for a more inclusive, equitable and balanced approach to economic growth that promotes sustainable development, poverty eradication, happiness and the well-being of all. (UN)

As we are all facing an ongoing global crisis together, this year’s International Day of Happiness is a chance to find uplifting and positive ways to look after ourselves – and one another, as individuals or as an organisation.

Based on that values this year’s international happiness day theme is – Keep Calm, Stay wise and Be kind.

Due to the pandemic the world needs to be in alignment with these values. How do we that? How can organisations build a happy cultural? Let’s understand these values at first:

Keep calm: Life has been unprecedented and overwhelming for all of us. Worries and panic only worsens the situations rather than helping. A calm mind brings inner strength and clarity. Imagine a jar full of water and sand, shake it and the sand will mix with water making it cloudy but keep it and let the sand settle to see the clear water. Our mind also gets cluttered and cloudy with thoughts, worries and doubts. Let it settle, practice calming techniques and experience stillness of mind.

Stay wise: Most of the scriptures, Guru’s and parents talk about gaining wisdom as the ultimate goal of life. It leads us towards happiness and enlightenment. I have experienced that some quotes/books or saying often become the guiding principles of life. So choose to spend time wisely, learn new skills, change with time, adopt a growth mindset and ask someone to Mentor.

Be kind: It comes in many forms, like being nice, thoughtful, loving nature, caring for others and then being considerate is the root of pure kindness. Be kind, as everyone is fighting a hard battle. Simply asking someone how they are doing can bring a huge difference in their mood and self esteem. Smile more often, practice patience, let go and let live.

Be kind, but not weak. Be strong, but not rude. Be proud, but not arrogant. Be a reason for spreading happiness all around you.

As an individual learn ways to handle stress, connect with like minded people and communities. As an organisation create awareness sessions, talks and promote well-being. Create happy Workplace and stay safe.

Happy international day of happiness 😊

Breaking the barriers

A simple story yet a profound message. Felt like sharing a video from one of my session, instead of putting it in words.

This women’s day let’s break the limiting patterns that stops us from living a happier & fulfilling life.

Step 1: Ask yourself if you had no limitations, what would you do or live as?

Step2: Notice your current situation and ask what’s stopping you to live your dream life?

Step 3: Bridge that gap by changing old beliefs and building new positive ones.

WE can break the chains. We can choose to challenge after all “happiness is about the choices we make.”

Want to learn more about Coaching?

7 ways to a happy self – relationship

My life changed the day I learned to love myself. It wasn’t easy at first but reduction on dependency for others approval and appreciation was the first step. It’s been more than 7 years and I realise that loving oneself is a continuous journey and every time we explore it in new and different ways. Just like peeling the onion, layer by layer we keep discovering new ways and skills. I took this journey inspired by Louise Hay, a great teacher, mentor and self-love advocate who transformed many lives through her books and talks. I highly recommend – “You can Heal your life” books and workshops for deeper learning.

Here’s 7 ways to start this happy relationship with self:

1. When we criticise, we change in negative ways. When we approve of ourselves we take positive actions towards that change. Have you heard yourself saying “ I am fat”, “I am always late” and “I am clumsy” it’s time to stop. Self criticism creates disrupted self identity.

2. Praise yourself as much as you can. “Wow I did it”, “I cook well” and “I try to take out time for reading” are simple praises you can remind yourself every day. Let go of your inner perfectionist!

3. Forgive yourself. You did the best you could at the time with the understanding, awareness and knowledge that you had. It doesn’t make others right, but is healing for you.

4. Be kind towards your negatives too. Acknowledge that you created them to fulfil a need. Lovingly release old negative patterns. Practising kindness towards self will help you become more mindful of your thoughts towards others too.

5. Learn about nutrition, mind power and exercise. Choose what works with your schedule and dedicate time every day to nourish yourself. I struggled with it for the longest time as baby care and family needs along with growing my business was always my priority. So I started dedicating first few hours of the day to myself before I get busy with the day.

6. Stand in front of the mirror and express gratitude for your body for being healthy and notice the beautiful things about yourself. I promise the list of things you love about yourself will grow once you start focusing on it.

7. Have a network of friends who support you. There are many communities and social media groups dedicated towards uplifting and empowering individuals. Stay connected and love yourself!

Love can heal even the deepest and most painful memories because love brings the light of understanding to the darkest corners of our hearts and minds.

– Louise Hay