Garden of Life

It is natural to have conflicts in relationships, especially with loved ones. It is unrealistic to expect having a harmonious relationship with the people whom you spend most of your time with. My mom used a metaphor while explaining relationships. She said “family members are like utensils, when two pots & pans are kept together; there is bound to be some noise”.

People living together always have different opinions, outlook and perspectives. What matters is the way we repair those relationships or learn to live with the noise knowing that it’s for a better purpose. The repair could be in various forms as we have diversity within a family. Elders, kids, partner, extended family all have different expectations and demands.

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I am blessed with some beautiful relationships in my life, but occasionally I tend to take the ones I love the most for granted. When I delivered my second child the most pressing concern was how will I support my elder daughter feel special, loved and not neglected. With a younger one in the house, most of the waking time is taken by caring for their demands and other relationships do get affected. The sleep deprivation also causes irritation and limited physical strength. We reached out to our child’s paediatrician, an amazing doctor and a very experienced father as well, he suggested us to carve out 30 min to 1 hr a day and label it as “Mom and baby” time or “Dad and baby” time. It was a very simple advice but it made a huge difference in our life. Everyday she would look forward to that time, finish her homework/ food etc  and be ready to make that time special. She was the leader for that time, she could decide whether today’s activity is a walk to the park day or playing with barbie dolls. 

We continued doing that every single day for the first year and we started enjoying that connection with her. It’s been almost 7 years and we still do that, not very regular now especially with the work and school responsibilities. Now special time comes once in a week but there are few other things that has helped us bond and connect over the last few years of growing together. 

XOXO:

A warm embrace, sometimes tickle, a squeeze of the hand, or a pat on the back all are gestures that speak love and support. Our mornings starts with hugs and gratitude and before bed there is either a reading time or calm down time for 10 minutes. It takes a few minutes every day but helps us look at the day with a better outlook and feel connected to each other.

Me time:

We often spend all our time looking after others in the family and forget about ourselves. If we don’t look after our self, we end up feeling miserable and resentful. We can’t give our children the support they need, if we ourselves are not emotionally balanced and physically healthy. Acknowledging our feelings, needs and carving out time is crucial for our well-being.  It’s not selfish to treat ourselves once in awhile! Put aside some time to do just what YOU want to do, even if it’s only 10 minutes a day.

Us time:

If you are a couple with two or more kids most of your time must be spent in balancing emotions and tantrums. Managing sibling rivalry and sometimes jealousy can be time consuming. As couple we get so occupied that we miss on all the special moments together. Children learn about relationships by seeing the people around them. Create special time every week where you  listen to each other, laugh together, watch a movie, go for a walk or dance. You will strengthen your relationship while being a positive influence for the children.

We can’t control the tone of relationships we have with our family members but we definitely can create greater harmony in our relationships. Be open, honest, and empathetic, but don’t be afraid to set boundaries with toxic or abusive family members. Sometimes family is beyond the people you live with and extends to friends who support and love you unconditionally.

^{So nurture your garden of life with different flowers, some need more water, some more sunshine and some needs pruning to make the garden thrive.}

Henna Sharma, Happiness Coach

What one word would describe your family? 

When you look back what do you remember, the unconditional love or challenges faced?

What changes have you experienced in your family during pandemic?

This week celebrating International day of families (UN), International Coaching week(ICF) and mental health awareness( WHO).

Choose to win, Refuse to fail

As we got hit by the second wave of pandemic and cities under the grip another lockdown in India, friends and families are wondering how we are going to cope with this challenge.

Over last one year many organisations have started assistance programs and well-being sessions. But the challenges are still there. So the need to create awareness is still there due to the emotional turmoil everyone is going through. This is amplified when we hear the news of families suffering and losing lives due to Covid-19.

Frank Snowden, author of Epidemics and society: From the Black Death to the present, calls it a second wave of “psychological pandemic”.

Pre COVID days, we could move out, meet friends, laugh away bad meetings and socialise to take off the work burden. Now with WFH there is more responsibilities and no outlets. A lot of belief transformation is happening during these unprecedented times triggering change in organisational and family dynamics.

Meanwhile the hospitals are filled with large numbers of cases and people running around making futile efforts of seeking a bed or oxygen cylinders. As per one of the corporate well-being providers, the senior executives are suffering from mental health issues more than the employees. Tracking growth and productivity along with keeping people motivated requires more communication channels. The endless Emails, phone calls, zoom, Slack and meet has lead to massive burnout.

The situation we are in today is a global experience in which we are all enrolled with or without our choice. Here’s what leaders with growth mindset would do:

1. Restart : Think of new ways of working and providing support. What CAN we do? Rethink strategies for overall development of yourself and your organisation. Though it won’t be easy, it will help teams innovate ways to weather the crisis.

2. Readjust : Review your policies and limitations. Find the gaps and create “Learn it all” culture instead of “know it all”; so that there is openness to ask for help and support. Let’s express grief and hold space for each other.

3. Refocus : This crisis is a good time to encourage deeper introspection on values, purpose & mission statements of the organisation. Encourage team to assess and improve established practices.

4. Reconnect: I remember last year everyone was so conscious of their presence on screen and now we see kids and pets on screen, it’s the new normal. Get to know your teammates, connect and coordinate. Create time for casual conversations and laughter. Good relationships at work helps in increasing productivity.

There is no “one size fits all”, so innovate ideas that provide support, makes employees happy and then repeat the process. No doubt when the pandemic ends a large number of worldwide workforce will adopt a hybrid/flexible schedule. If supported by the right leaders and mentors we all can come out of this pandemic stronger and more emotionally balanced than before.

Check out my free webinar on Life Work Balance here.

OR

Reach out for individual coaching session or group coaching for your teams here.

When we can’t change the situation we change ourselves.

Wear mask and stay safe 🙏

Let’s celebrate happiness!!

20th March is the International Day of Happiness it recognises the relevance of happiness and well-being as a universal goal in the lives of human beings around the world and the importance of their recognition in public policy objectives.

It also recognises the need for a more inclusive, equitable and balanced approach to economic growth that promotes sustainable development, poverty eradication, happiness and the well-being of all. (UN)

As we are all facing an ongoing global crisis together, this year’s International Day of Happiness is a chance to find uplifting and positive ways to look after ourselves – and one another, as individuals or as an organisation.

Based on that values this year’s international happiness day theme is – Keep Calm, Stay wise and Be kind.

Due to the pandemic the world needs to be in alignment with these values. How do we that? How can organisations build a happy cultural? Let’s understand these values at first:

Keep calm: Life has been unprecedented and overwhelming for all of us. Worries and panic only worsens the situations rather than helping. A calm mind brings inner strength and clarity. Imagine a jar full of water and sand, shake it and the sand will mix with water making it cloudy but keep it and let the sand settle to see the clear water. Our mind also gets cluttered and cloudy with thoughts, worries and doubts. Let it settle, practice calming techniques and experience stillness of mind.

Stay wise: Most of the scriptures, Guru’s and parents talk about gaining wisdom as the ultimate goal of life. It leads us towards happiness and enlightenment. I have experienced that some quotes/books or saying often become the guiding principles of life. So choose to spend time wisely, learn new skills, change with time, adopt a growth mindset and ask someone to Mentor.

Be kind: It comes in many forms, like being nice, thoughtful, loving nature, caring for others and then being considerate is the root of pure kindness. Be kind, as everyone is fighting a hard battle. Simply asking someone how they are doing can bring a huge difference in their mood and self esteem. Smile more often, practice patience, let go and let live.

Be kind, but not weak. Be strong, but not rude. Be proud, but not arrogant. Be a reason for spreading happiness all around you.

As an individual learn ways to handle stress, connect with like minded people and communities. As an organisation create awareness sessions, talks and promote well-being. Create happy Workplace and stay safe.

Happy international day of happiness 😊