Meet and greet to be happy.

Does walking to someone unknown and starting a conversation scare you?

You’re not alone.

Many people shy away or make excuses to avoid meeting people, be a part of social gathering or network.

In fact NOT many make an effort to talk to the people in the same organisation, cubicle or neighbourhood.

This attitude may impact social image, brand, professional growth and success.

When it comes to professional networking people can benefit and expand their knowledge, opportunities and connections.

My Dad had a major fall last week and was immediately rushed to the hospital. There was no single room available, long wait time and busy doctors. Even though he had to go undergo surgery we were told to wait till a room gets vacant. Luckily his connections helped. He’s always been a friendly person and a kind being. That has helped him build some beautiful relationship both at work and in personal life. The connections helped us secure a room, an immediate slot for surgery and post care. I felt truly grateful at that moment for having such supportive people in our life. Our family was physically and emotionally supported.

Great relationships enhance your happiness. It’s not just about taking but giving as well. Many workplace relationships turn into deep friendships.

Networking helps in building motivation and collect creative ideas. It helps gain confidence and overcome fears . Recently, in one of the virtual workshops after a breakout room activity the participants shared we just realised how similar we are though we have known each other for the last 2 years but never interacted so deeply.

Here’s how to start networking even when you are shy:

🤝 Greet – Best-way to make two people happy is to smile. The giver and the receiver benefits equally. So when you meet someone next time in an elevator or social gathering give the gift of attention and smile instead of looking in the phone.

🤝 Smart – Use this strategy to build connections.

↪️ Small (Have small goals such as call one old friend everyday or 5 new connections per week on LinkedIn)

↪️ M – measurable (Setting a target)

↪️ A – achievable (Can you do that consistently every day/week)

↪️ R – resources (time, gadget, niche could be some of resources)

↪️ T – time (make it time bound such as for next one month or 3)

🤝 Tag – Take a friend along when going to an in person event. Tag someone here in the comments who helped you network.

🤝 Reach out – Every person we meet has some unique experience or story to share. Make an effort to go out, socialise and connect with like minded individuals

🤝 Work on body language – Notice how you sit and stand, if you are closed and not interested people will hesitate to make the conversation. Look up from phone, smile and make an eye contact with someone you can see around you.

Tag some connection you found through networking.

Share ideas what worked for you?

Let’s acknowledge & applaud helpful people who supported you during tough times.

After all what are we here for, if not to make life easier for each other?

Princesses wears cleats!

What? A ball over a doll??

This was my first reaction when my daughter chose ball over a doll at the age of 3.

When she went to see big boys playing soccer at the park leaving her swing, I wondered.

When she told me she wants to learn football I enrolled her thinking she will give up soon.

When she woke up early every weekend for her class without a fuss for more than a year; I felt that her love for football is real and not how I have been perceiving it.

Finally when I saw her play last week in Japan in an Asia Pac 2023 tournament I was overwhelmed.

Photo by Vidal Balielo Jr. on Pexels.com

Here’s what she believes in and how so many of my preconceived notions and biases changed during that match.

I feel these may benefit many of us in overcoming limiting beliefs and building resilient mindset.

1. Alone but not lonely : She was the only girl traveling in the team of boys from all over India. Initially the boys hesitated to include her and some made faces & remarks.

Her response – “It’s ok! I am happy with myself they will come to me when they know more about me.”

Don’t give in to judgements and opinions. Stand up in your uniqueness.

2. Support others: While everyone cheered when someone blocked or scored the goal. She clapped and tapped their shoulders when they couldn’t. She exclaimed “well tried”!!

Everyone is doing their best, acknowledge and appreciate.

3. Smash the glass ceiling: When the team was referred again and again as boys, she would gently remind the coach, “I am here.” He changed it to ‘my super champs’ after 3 days.

Voice your opinion and ideas, to bring a positive change. It may be ignored at first but continuous reminders help.

4. Never give up: She injured her arm during the match, but insisted on playing so that she can train her body and mind for overcoming challenges. Not only she did that, she inspired others. Coaches from other countries came and congratulated her.

Her Grandfather teaches her that challenging your body will expand your mind.

5. Be kind: The kid who inadvertently caused the injury was about to be scolded by the folks present but she intervened and said no one should say anything, it was unintentional. He and all his troupe became her best friends, holding her bag and sharing jokes with the team while she returned back to India.

She proved, she is more than a gender label and self confidence is the prerequisite for great undertakings.

Her motto is “Princesses wear cleats.”

So it is! We are privileged to be living in world of opportunities and abundance. Let’s stand up for our rights, be kind, embrace our individuality and be a winner wherever we are!!

Are you willing to claim your own worth as yourself?

Are you surrounded by people who don’t see your value yet?

Over the years I have done a lot of work on overcoming limiting beliefs and building resilient mindset, but the feeling of seeing your lil one teaching you this life lessons is priceless.

“Let’s grow a little everyday even when it’s hard.”

5S – organise your way to success.

Your important files are never where you kept them last.

Finding a uniform for your kid to wear tomorrow is pure luck.

The snack you want to eat right now got finished last week.

We deal with this every day, don’t we?

Dis-organisation takes a lot of precious time away from being productive.

Being organised has many benefits:

1. Increased productivity

2. Improved focus

3. Less stress

4. More calmness and peace

5. Better performance

6. Greater success

7. Good feelings

Having lived in Japan, I have incorporated many habits that has helped me over the years in building an organised home and office.

For example, a whiteboard on the fridge that reminds that the particular food is over and need to be ordered. When someone uses the last bit, the jar stays on the slab till it is marked on the board.

Here’s 5S method which is great way to bring effectiveness and efficiency in the organisational structure of a workplace or home.

Last but not the least stay flexible, be ready some days will be more taxing than others.

Our physical experience colours our emotional experience, and when my body is in a place that’s orderly, my mind becomes more serene.

Gretchen Rubin

Friends make us happy.

She called me and fixed a lunch date.

Came promptly on time to pick me from home.

We settled in our favourite restaurant and ordered our usual salads and mains.
Water was served and the Bangalore weather was as always beautiful.

She asked how’s everything? I smiled nodded gently.

She immediately followed with another question, then why no blogs? I eagerly wait for you to pen down your thoughts every week and have been missing it for few weeks. Knowing you and being your friend, I know your consistency and dedication towards work. Therefore, I was wondering if everything is ok! That’s why I decided to take you out for lunch and find out.

I felt so blessed and touched to have friends like her by my side who gently nudge me to achieve my goals.

It’s normal for all of us to fill the time during the day with things that may not be productive, unless we are focused on our goals every single day. In other words procrastination is a natural human tendency. My psychologist friend used a great way to approach it. Grateful for the discussion that continued after.

To stay consistent with our performance we need qualities such as self discipline, time management, dedication, dutifulness and persistence. We tend to give less importance to our tasks that are far into the future compared to the task at hand. There is even a term for this called “temporal discounting”.

What I was doing was “effort discounting” telling myself why put so much time and effort where outcome is not much visible.

Effort required > Reluctancy > Procrastination

Let me be the friend for you who believes in you and want the best for you. Here are a few tips that would help you with procrastination:

1. Set realistic goals : It’s ok to plan, write, break goals into sub-goals and assess the time required for each task.
2. Understand your why: What’s the reason behind your goals? What’s the vision you have for yourself? Keeping the long term vision as a reminder can help beat procrastination and build intrinsic motivation.
3. Have accountability partner: It could be a friend, team member, family member or mentor. Ask them to nudge you and keep a check.
4. Make it fun: Enjoy the moments in the journey towards your goals. After all happiness is not a destination it’s the small steps you take every day. It could be as simple as listening to your playlist while exercising or buying flowers for your work desk.
5. Self compassion: Don’t beat yourself up if you slip. Get up, dust yourself and back to action. Give yourself the love, time and space you need to recover and restart.

Most importantly surround yourself with people who push you, challenge you, make you laugh, make you better and make you happier.

Starry starry sky!!

Saturday night, me and my partner found ourselves standing on a peaceful and quiet beach. Away from the crowd, unspoiled, glittering golden sand, clear cold water splashing waves in high tide and darkness all around. After a long day drive it felt serene as the cold waves caressed the tired feet.

The darkness around was also bringing some fears on the surface. I was constantly putting on the flash light of my phone to make sure I am safe and there are no crawlies around me.

It took sometime to feel present in that moment and to soak in all that was around. The sound of the waves, the touch of the water, the fresh breeze and the stillness of just being there.

We switched off our flashlights and suddenly the darkness was so beautiful as we became aware of the sky full of stars.

The more I presented myself to that stillness the more clearer it became. With every passing moment I could notice many little twinkling clusters.

My fear of something crawling over my feet was gone, I was comfortable with darkness and I was in the complete awareness of that moment.

Isn’t that what happens with us in life and work? We live with fears and uncertainties, we complain and criticise.

We feel the darkness so strongly that we miss the beauty that it may hold.

Last year due to Covid-19 like most others I was so busy working from home, managing kids, their emotions and education. In all that activities I missed taking an action on one of my important goals.

The feeling wasn’t good till the time I came in complete awareness of the surrounding darkness. The goal then became starry sky. It become clearer and clearer as I was connecting with myself.

I am so proud to share that I managed to take action, enrolled myself in classes, attended it every week even while I was traveling, submitted my assignments inspite of all the work and responsibilities that were always existing.

Some days were stressful but one of my friend taught me to disconnect with an intention to reconnect.

Just like looking up constantly at the starry sky can be painful for your neck. So you disconnect, move your gaze knowing that this will help you refocus and realign with much more clarity.

What’s your starry sky?

What fears have been holding you to take action?

How does it feel to be in complete awareness of your goal?

Happy to share my achievement and more equipped to help you reach your goals!!

Freedom

How free are you?

When we are living in pain, fear, conflict and disillusion; we may feel imprisoned with:

1. Lack of confidence

2. Less creativity in our day to day tasks

3. Reluctance towards new changes and opportunities.

4. Least motivation towards actions that we are supposed to take.

Till the time I felt I am not good enough, I kept working hard, making long to do lists and stressing myself with work that could be outsourced. The day I decided to break free myself from that belief things changed.

We all can claim that freedom towards our happiness.

Along with less stress and minimal efforts we could feel:

1. More confidence

2. Enhanced creativity

3. Open towards new experiences and opportunities

4. Intrinsically motivated towards goals and actions.

Freedom is an ability to self express.

Self expression comes from emotional freedom.

Here’s some ways that helped me to achieve that freedom:

1. Self acceptance: Our needs, values and beliefs make us who we are. Accepting, acknowledging and standing up for our rights will give us the freedom to live upto our best potential.

2. Self love: Just as we accept little children with all the imperfections, we can try and love ourselves for who we are. Resentment and anger towards self or others is only detrimental for our health and well-being.

3. Self responsibility: We are adults and now we can not depend our happiness on our parents, partner, boss, team or friend. We need to take responsibility for our actions and situations we choose to be in.

“I claim my freedom to be happy.”

Just do it!

You are capable.

You are amazing.

You hold the resources within to make you a winner.

You are whole and complete.

Is there any reason to play small?

Everything that you desire and deserve need your action. So just do it!!

I used this mantra at the beginning of my coaching journey. Every time I had a doubt, fear, a feeling of procrastination, comparison or negative self talk; I reminded myself to just do it.

Do it because I love, I care and I am compassionate about what I do.

The journey wasn’t easy there were setbacks and failures. Every setback was a learning. I improved on the skills, learned new ways to bring positive transformation in my clients life.

Soon action became:

A – Adapting

C – Changes

T – To

I – Improve

O – Outcomes +

N – New skills

Just the willingness to take the action is half the battle won. The fear of failure looms over when we think too much about the consequences and overpowers our ability to take actions.

So take that plunge and think of what helped you in the past in overcoming doubts and fear. We all have those little achievements which we fondly remember, isn’t it?

Like the exam we cleared, trek we managed to climb, first promotion or overcoming health challenges.

Who did that for you? No one but you!

No one can tell you what’s right for you but you. No one can control how you think and what you do but you!

Take the responsibility of self. It’s a mindset to proactively work on your goals and actions instead of following others and waiting for others to change.

Use this powerful slogan/affirmation and take some action towards a better life.

What’s on your do it someday list? – Now is a good time so JUST DO IT!!

Little things that make a difference.

Hey do you know this nostalgic feeling?

When we meet someone who acknowledges us OR we enjoy the conversations with them.

Most of the time we keep reminiscing the talk in our mind.

The words float every now and then, the bio chemistry of body changes, we smile within and notice the heartbeats go a notch faster.

These are mainly thoughts of appreciation. It means recognising and acknowledging the qualities of someone or something.

Everyone loves recognition for what they do, including young kids. But here’s why leaders use appreciation at workplace:

1. Appreciation enhances engagement and commitment.
2. Appreciation increase productivity and builds intrinsic motivation.
3. It creates happy workplaces, with ripple effect of smiles and good thoughts.
4. It builds loyalty and reduces attrition.

Recently I worked with a client who used appreciation techniques at work, what worked best for him was not only the workplace environment improved but the good energy flowed into his personal life as well.

Employees feel happy to come at work and go back energised to their personal relationships.

Let’s make gratitude and appreciation a daily habit. But remember there is difference between a thank you note and a sincere expression of timely and relevant appreciation.

Best part it’s free!!

So would you like to appreciate someone or would you like to acknowledge someone who appreciates you? Let’s chat in the comments section below.

E-motion

Emotions are energy in motion!

What do I mean?

Louise Hay in her book “Heal your life” talks about how feelings and emotions can cause various “dis-eases” in our body.

Feelings are what we experience and label as anger, sadness, joy and fear. The thoughts and interpretations that carry these emotions give it meaning.

When we understand emotions as energy, we can hold, release, suppress or ignore them.

The suppressing and ignoring of emotions can be the reason for stress, anxiety and burnout.

Being aware of the sensations in our body can be helpful in dealing with limiting patterns, bringing in positive transformation and lasting happiness.

In a safe and supportive environment this emotional energy can be channelised towards intelligence, creativity and discovering new path ways for expansion and fulfilment.

One of the tools to manage our thoughts, feelings and actions is meditation or mindfulness. It allows us to access our emotional centers of the brain and rewire patterns of stress. When practiced regularly it can create emotional balance and inner peace.

Our mind is capable of producing joy, agony, ecstasy and fear. So either we can use it to create miracle or misery.

Try this Meditation. Share your feedback on how it helped you deal with your emotions.

Stressed and still happy?

Can you be stressed and yet happy?

The answer is YES!

But it has to be the right amount of stress towards a meaningful purpose.

According to the research published in Journal of Happiness Studies, people who work hard at improving a skill or an ability do tend to experience stress but also greater happiness in the long run.

Working on new goals can be tough, creating new habits requires lots of effort, learning something new is hard and dealing with people with different mindset and volatile emotions can be stressful.

That’s why many organisations came forward and created a space for employees to talk about and learn ways to deal with stress during April, being the awareness month.

Stress has many beautiful attributes. We stress about things we care for, like our career, raising children and relationships at work and home.

So what tools and techniques help you deal with stress?

1. Meditation / Mindfulness

2. Nature walk

3. Journaling

4. One step at a time approach

5. Reading good books

6. Watching videos

7. Listening to music

8. Sleeping

9. Meeting friends

10. Yoga / Gym

Let’s remember “Happiness” is a choice and so is “Stress”!!